Conquering and Surviving
by inner.strength.1988
Summary: Edward is conquering all those fears and the hell he went through at 17, eight years ago. Bella is surviving the horror and pain she went through and is trying to thrive eight years later. They've tried to conquer and survive with people who don't understand, then they meet. AH, AU, EPOV/BPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**Conquering and Surviving**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, all characters belong to Stephanie Myers and other owners. I just play with'em and make'em miserable**.**

* * *

**Summery: **Edward is conquering all those fears and the hell he went through at 17, eight years ago. Bella is surviving the horror and pain she went through and is trying to thrive eight years later. They've tried to conquer and survive with people who don't understand, then they meet. AH, AU, EPOV/BPOV.

Not going into the details of what happened to them, I want you to find out as they relive them.

**Author's note**: So this is my first Twilight fic, it's an idea that came to me a while ago and sat down to crank it out. It will focus on Edward and Bella. Other characters will pop in and out but this is a story about them overcoming their past and healing. Angst and other terrible things will be plentiful, so if that isn't your cup of tea, feel free to pass the story up.

My Bella and others are a bit different, so you can check out the pictures for this story here: (( ))((/innerstrength88))((.tumblr.))com (just remove the brackets)

I do not have a beta, so all mistakes are my own, hopefully I can find one soon. This is a longish drabble and I am going to try to upload once a day, since I seem to be cranking out one to three a day. This plot bunny won't let me rest.

I love reviews, negative or otherwise. I learn something from each one of them. Just don't be mean, it's wrong.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the ride.

* * *

**Chapter One**

_**EPOV**_

_**2012**_

_Push, shove, and breathe._

_Push, shove, and breathe._

So many people were doing the same as was as they tried to make their way down the steps to the platform.

All of them had somewhere to go and all of them wanted to get there before the rest; all of which caused the mess I was now in.

A mess no one thought I'd be able to handle but I was; I was handling it.

Take that Dr. Platt.

Take that over protective brother.

And take that Aro.

I was doing this.

_Push, shove, breathe._

* * *

_**2004**_

The mumbling behind me was nothing to me, you live in Chicago enough, you get used to it.

People behind you, mumbling.

Dread filled my stomach though for some reason.

It was panic and it wasn't something I was used to feeling, at least not since I was a little boy.

At 17, I was a man now, one who stood well over six feet and had a swimmers strength, I had nothing to worry about.

I could take care of myself.

The voices though were coming from more than just two. Maybe four? Five?

Shaking my head, I fingered my cell one and picked up my brisk pace.

Their footsteps did the same.

Taking a deep breath, I had been about to turn my brisk jog into a full-out run but a hand grabbed my arm.

"No so fast Masen!" The voice said and before I could even raise my free right hand, a clothe came over my nose and mouth.

The smell flooded me and though I tried to fight and struggle, more arms held me and the toxin dampened rag brought darkness closer.

For a moment I looked into the inky blackness and could see the peacefulness.

The escape.

And I fell into it.

* * *

_**2012**_

_Push, shove, and breathe._

For years I let it control me.

For years I found another inky blackness to fall into it.

Eight years later though, I was conquering.

Final push, shove, and breathe.

I was on the train and heading to my future.

Finally I was reaching a destiny I thought I had lost at 17.

But I was conquering.

_Hold, grip, and balance._

Mantras and want was all I had now and it would drive me to the end.

_Hold, grip, and balance._

Columbia.

The promise land.

_Hold, grip, and balance._

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_**2012**_

"With all do respect Mrs. Swan..."

I was already toning them out. For the past year, I've sat in this room while they fought against my idea.

Dr. Cullen was in agreement with my mother.

I couldn't 'handle' it.

Leaving home was "to dangerous" and my mom wouldn't be able to survive if I got hurt again.

But she never had to survive. I had to survive. I survived.

And now I wanted to live again.

Reclaim the life that had been taken from me at 15.

Reclaim those promising chances I had all those years ago.

Before James.

Before I lost Jake.

Before I lost Isabella.

"Dr. Cullen you can't be serious..."

I came back, looking at the wall in my normal muted state. Seeing the fancy degrees there.

One's Dr. Cullen had used to save me and now the ones that gave him the power to control my fate.

Tuning back out, I thought about music. What I did to deal now, ran lyrics through my head.

How I had survived James.

How I had survived losing Jake.

How I'd survive now.

'_You know the lies they always told you...and the love you never knew...'_

They were my escape.

* * *

_**2004**_

"Jake are you sure about this?" I asked as he pulled me towards the beat up car.

James was the new guy in school, a senior to our freshman.

He creped me out but Jake idolized him.

Plus I figured I had no reason to fear him.

I doubted he'd mess with the mayor's son and the police chief's daughter.

I was safe.

I had no reason to fear.

Ever.

Not to mention Jake at 15 was already filled out like a man and stood at nearly six foot five.

Fear was not an emotion I had ever needed.

But as Jake drug me to the car after school, suddenly my gut was clenched with it.

Jake meant the world to me, so I agreed.

I climbed into the backseat as James and Mike got into the front.

Mike the other new boy kinda freaked me out as well.

They came to Forks together, they were cousins whom both lived with Jame's mom, Patty.

Mike had asked me out already, him being a sophomore, it wouldn't be so out of the norm.

Luckily Jake had already dubbed me his wife back in middle school, so I had an excuse to say no.

And I think Mike was a little intimidated by Jake's size since he barely passed me on the height scale.

"It'll be fun Isabella, promise." Jake said.

"Yeah Izzy, don't worry." James said as he looked back.

I only swallowed and willed away the fear.

I was safe. I had Jake.

* * *

_**2012**_

The memory found its way back in and I took a deep breath. Letting the lyrics override it.

Only breaking the mute pose when I heard Dr. Cullen voice raising.

He never raised his voice.

"Keeping her here where the trauma happen WILL not help her!"

"Keeping her will keep her SAFE! I know you've been her for doctor seven years but I am her mother!"

He took a deep breath as I watched them like a tennis match. Not believing he was willing to let me go.

That he thought it was best for me.

"Renée, I know it's hard but New York City is a safe city and she needs to move on. You and Charlie need to move on."

I swallowed the tears that rose up. I hadn't cried since the first night James had me.

Since then I'd been a mute with my emotions. Just existing.

Just surviving.

Now, I felt them bubble to the surface.

I had another chance.

I was getting a chance to live again.

This time the lyrics weren't sad.

_'I'm gonna go back...to the girl I was...on the night you found me...'_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Will post twice today since I didn't get to post yesterday because of work and a family thing. Remember to check out the tumblr for this story so you can see the images, the link is on my bio. Will keep it updated as we go along. Enjoy and leave feedback if you'd like.

**Lyrics**: Moving Forward by Hoobastank.

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**Chapter Two**

_**EPOV**_

_**2012**_

I step off the train, taking in a deep breath before loosing myself in the crowd going up.

Reverting back to the push, shove, and breathe mantra.

_Push, shove, and breathe._

Saying it again and again in my head, until I finally break free of the crowd and reach the warm air of the city.

Columbia loomed ahead and I felt a smile grace my face.

This was it, I was finally getting rid of the past and I was stepping forward.

Following the line of people who were all walking towards the large building.

Pulling out my second vice and the lighter.

Shaking the pack, I pulled out a Malbro and stick it in my mouth before lighting it.

It was just one of my addictions that I replaced the others with.

Ink was another.

Ink and smokes.

Dr. Platt said it was better than the coke and booze like it was before.

My mother disagreed.

My father didn't care.

_Inhale, exhale, and step._

_Inhale, exhale, and step._

Columbia was waiting.

Classes.

People.

It was all waiting for me.

* * *

_**2004**_

I had no idea how long I'd been out.

An hour?

A day?

I wasn't sure.

My bladder was though and I jerked up only to be pushed down, something jerking me back into place.

My wrist was cuffed and it all flooded back.

I had walked home from my dad's office after dropping off a report.

Voices behind me.

The cloth.

The struggle.

Panic flooded me and I started to pull at the cuff, I had to get the fuck out of here.

"It won't work man, when Aro does something, he really does."

I turn my head towards the face, a big guy in the chair, watching me.

"Look whoever the hell is Aro doesn't know who I am."

"Oh he does pretty boy, why do you think you're here."

* * *

_Inhale, exhale, and step_.

I stopped once I reached the steps of the big stone building and threw down the cigarette, snubbing it out with my converse.

Here I was.

My future was in front of me.

My mom was sure I could never handle the people.

The voices behind me.

But I was. Everyday since last June, I had.

I was dealing.

Finally I was another step closer.

Hitching my backpack on my shoulder, I took the steps two at a time.

_One, two, and closer._

_One, two, and closer._

Over and over until I reached the doors.

Other students were milling around, looking around for their classroom.

Or moving towards the administrators offices.

I?

I had studied and prepared for the moment since I stepped off the plane and entered my small apartment off campus.

I was ready.

Sliding off my raybans, I tucked them into the neck of my shirt and walked at a brisk pace.

_Hitch bag, step forward, and smirk._

Though I didn't notice the people around me, but I kept the smirk in place.

I wanted to be normal.

I needed to be normal.

I remembered smirking before Aro.

Even heard the girls mention "panty ruiner" about it.

This was about getting back what he stole.

_Hitch bag, step forward, and smirk._

_Hitch bag, step forward, and smirk._

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_**2012**_

I was doing this.

My dad was fingering the small pistol I knew he wanted me to take.

My mom was crying and ready to beg me to stay.

I was packing.

Shoving the bulky clothing into the suitcase, three pieces at a time.

"You'll..." my mom stopped and I turned my head, giving her a small smile.

Lyrics playing, nearly covering her words but I knew she meant well.

_"And I take, the first step of a million more...And I'll make mistakes I've never made before."_

"I'll be okay," I get out.

And I would. I'd be away from this place.

From my dad who still had a hard time looking at me without pain.

From my mom who still cried for me.

From Jake who wouldn't speak to me or look at me.

From a town who whispered words of pity behind my back.

I loved everyone here.

Without everyone, I'd be dead.

I'd do what my mind taunted me with for so long.

I'd sliced the blue veins on my wrist and fell into the blackness that had been my friend.

But they saved me and now I was saving them.

I was leaving.

I was getting on with my life so they could do the same.

_"But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward."_

* * *

_**2004**_

"Where are we?" I asked as I looked at the house we parked in front of.

It was a dump. An absolute dump.

The panic was reaching a fever pitch and I had to clasp Jake's hand to keep mine from shaking.

"A party," James spoke from the front seat and hopped out of the car.

"It'll be fun babe," Jake whispered before opening the door and pulling me out with him.

I followed, I'd follow Jake anywhere and I swallowed down the panic.

I was safe, I had Jake.

Mike tagged behind me and I wanted to pause and let him lead with James, but I refused to give into that fear.

Until I saw something concrete to be scared of, I'd try my best to enjoy this.

Jake wanted to experience life and so did I.

Sheltered didn't begin to describe our lives before High School.

Now we were branching out.

I refused to lose Jake because I was a chicken shit.

James reached the door and pushed it back, letting us in first before stepping in and locking the door as we walked ahead.

If I thought this place was a dump on the outside, it was just as crappy on the inside.

Shaking my head, I turned to ask James where everyone was but before I could speak, a tug made me tip sideways.

Jake was laid out and I was nearly on top of him now.

Looking up with a scream, I saw James and Mike smile.

"Sorry Isabella, he was in the way."

* * *

_"I'm through feeling scared, I'm leaving that behind...so, now it's time go."_

The lyrics pushed it away, the memories, and I finished packing.

Turning to look at them, my parents who loved me, I reached forward, pulling them into a hug.

"Thank you," I whisper between them.

"Be careful Is...Bella. Please."

"I will mom."

"I love you Bells," my dad whispered and I nodded.

"I love you both."

A honk broke up the emotion fest.

"You sure you don't want me take you Bells?"

I did, I really wanted to be with my dad one more time before I left but it would be hard.

He, though he had a hard time looking at me, was my safe haven.

He killed James.

He saved me.

But I needed to walk on my own now, no more hiding behind Chief Swan's gun.

"I'll be back home for Thanksgiving."

I tell them and they nod.


	3. Chapter 3

**Lyrics: **Misery by Good Charlotte & Breathe In, Breathe Out by Delta Goodrem

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**_EPOV_**

**_2012_**

Finding the classroom, I looked around the empty room. I was early.

Which was actually a plus, now I had the pick of the seats. My mother and Dr. Platt would assume I'd choose the seats in the back-row.

Where the only thing behind me was a wall. Where the voices would be in front of me.

Today was about conquering, so I found a seat in the middle.

Seats behind me.

Seats on either side of me.

Everything I had avoided since I was rescued.

But I was done avoiding.

Sitting in the seat, I pulled out my notebook and pencil.

Figuring if we did a full on lecture, I'd pull out the MacBook.

I couldn't tap the MacBook though.

So I took in my surrounding as I waited for other bodies to fill in.

Tap, look, and wait.

Tap, look, and wait.

The professor was the first to walk in,

He was older, short, and unassuming. He even had a bushy beard.

I had learned thought that height meant nothing.

Aro had been short, under five feet six in his bare feet, but he conquered me,

Napoleon had been short.

Alexander the Great had been short.

Height meant nothing when it came to the strength of a person; or the havoc they could create.

From this distance though, I could tell he was nothing like Aro.

He had kindness in his eyes. That was something missing all together in Aro.

Taking a deep breath, I un-capped my pen and readied myself.

Opening the first page, I began to tap it on the paper to the rhythm in my head.

Before Aro, I had been on the fast track to Julliard. I was going to be a concert pianist like my mother.

Now though, I was planning on teaching music to young minds.

Julliard had no use for a person who hadn't played in seven years. The last time had been the night before Aro took me.

After that, I hadn't been able to look at a piano, let alone play.

It wasn't til this year that I had started again.

I was rusty and my piano had to be turned but I had finally started to play.

This year was the year I conquered.

Tapping my pen, I watched the mass of students filling in the room.

Watching as they took seats.

Tap, tap, and watch.

Tap, tap, and watch.

Giving a tight smile to the guy who takes the set to my left, I turn back to the board.

Tap, tap, and watch.

Three girls filed in and find seats directly behind me.

That was good, girls voices made it less hard to tune out.

Tap, tap, and watch.

* * *

_**2004**_

"I have no idea why I am here!" I shout at the man in the chair. If I thought I was big, I had fooled myself.

No wonder I had a time struggling.

He was built like my brother.

Like a fucking linebacker.

"Where am I?!" I shout again and he shook his head.

"Tsk, tsk, prisoners don't get to ask questions," a voice said from the stairs I just noticed.

I was in a basement. A cold basement.

"Edward Masen Jr., seventeen, baby boy to Edward Masen Sr. and his lovely wife Elizabeth. Baby brother to Emmett Masen," he mentioned my family and I felt myself go rigid. I would rather be here than to have them hurt.

"What have you done?" I ask, my voice soft and breathy. Panicked.

"Nothing yet, but soon my boy, I will. Your daddy made me suffer, not it's his turn.

With that, he turned away from me and I felt sick.

My dad? My dad was the District attorney, he hadn't hurt anyone.

Ever.

Unless.

Aro.

I knew that name.

He was a level mobster in the Voulturi organization.

My dad had worked with the FBI, DEA, and the Chicago PD to take the organization.

And he had.

Four years ago.

It was my Dad's claim to fame.

* * *

_**2012**_

Tap, tap, and watch.

The professor walked to the board and began to write his name.

Dr. Henley.

Music appreciation 101.

Just as I turned around, I heard the door open.

Was slowly turning out the voice behind me with another mantra as the turned at the door.

A brunette rushed to the only empty seat in the room, the one next to me at my right.

"Now that everyone is here, I'll start with roll call."

For some reason, I couldn't help but stare at the girl next to me.

She was short, extremely so.

Maybe five feet one, curvy - or fat as it was known in today's standard - in all the best places, and flushed.

Desire.

I hadn't felt it in nearly eight years.

It was foreign.

I had been sure I was through with that emotion.

No had been able to touch me for nearly a year after I was rescued.

Besides Dr. Platt and the others at the hospital.

Not even my mom.

Especially not my dad or brother.

I hadn't even had th urge to pleasure myself since I had been rescued from that hell hole.

But here I was.

Feeling the string of something.

Before she could catch me looking, I turned back to look at the professor.

Tap, wonder, and watch.

Tap, wonder, and watch.

* * *

**_BPOV_**

**_2012_**

_"Don't you know that misery loves company...Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me."_

I was running late. Who knew the subway system would still be so confusing after two weeks?

But it was.

So was the school.

Bigger than any school I had ever attended.

Forks High could fit into the first half of the main building and still had room for additions.

I needed more time.

I should have come in June. Not August.

_"Happiness is a face that don't look good on me..."_

I refused to let that bother me though.

I was settled into a nice one bedroom apartment on the upper west side.

My settlement had me well off for the rest of my life if I chose.

But I wanted to work.

I refused to be the recluse my father and mother wanted me to be.

I was surviving.

I was going to survive and thrive.

Survive and thrive.

_"Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me...Woah, misery's my company."_

Rushing down the hallway, one of the student pointed too, I see the room.

The door had just been closed.

The me last year wouldn't have dared to opened it. To let eyes watched me as I walked down.

To many eyes.

To many stares.

But that wasn't me now.

That girl no longer existed.

In place was Bella.

I wa a survivor.

I was strong.

So I slowly pushed the door open.

Seeing one last seat.

Part of me hoped to get a seat next to a girl.

Guys still made me a little edgy.

But there was none.

James and Mike had no control of Bella.

They controlled Isabella. Izzy.

Not Bella.

So I walked down the steps, lyrics humming in my head the entire time, and took the seat.

Noting his stare as I did but kept my head down. Pulling out my notebook and pencil.

Usually a stare like this would make me shake.

_"Don't feel bad...keep your sadness alive."_

But his, his didn't.

I couldn't help but wonder why.

* * *

_**2004**_

"What the hell!? How was he in the way?!" I shout again and James just smirked at me.

So did Mike.

And that fear I had pushed down came up and I nearly missed Jake's prone form as I heaved out the contents of my stomach.

"Awe, look, Izzy lost her dinner. I think she's scared Mike, what do you think?"

"Oh yeah man, look at her, she's real scared."

With one finally dry heave, I looked up.

"You can't...you can't do this..." I stuttered out.

Jake was down for the count and I had to find a way to get us out of here.

"Yes we can Izzy, and we are pretty girl."

"Yeah, teases like you love this," Mike said with a smirk.

Tease? I had never been called that.

I wasn't. Jake and I had done stuff and he was the only one I was interested in.

We planned to lose the big V together during Junior Prom.

We planned a lot of things.

"Please, whatever you're thinking, don't," I whimper as the thoughts and horror started to run through my head.

They wouldn't.

They couldn't.

But they were and I could see it.

Hating myself, I crawled away from Jake, trying to get to my feet.

I had to get out of here.

Had to find a phone.

Had to get help.

"Look Mike, we got a runner. I love runners."

* * *

_**2012**_

_"Just breathe in breathe out that's a moment in your life."_

The memories were so loud as I thought about his words.

His stare.

I had to think of lyrics.

Had to get it off my mind.

_"In the end the here and now is all we have don't look back."_

Thankfully this was music appreciation.

I was surround by my saving grace in here.

Opening my notebook, I began to jot down notes as the professor spoke.

And I got lost, listening to him speak.

Letting go of Izzy and Isabelle.

Instead, letting Bella resurface.

Letting her control me and taking everything in that I had been so sure I would never have again.

* * *

**A/N**: A sorta first meeting...:D


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